WITHhard times call for bold action. It’s not really about talking, as the worse the situation gets, the more concerned we are with the fancy words that cover up the drama. It all starts with the fuel price brake, which for a while we thought was a newly discovered pesky bug. However, it quickly became clear that this brake caused prices to skyrocket again and again. If Christian Lindner had preferred to name it Tankturbo, he would have avoided many problems. Lindner’s Turing party friend, Blitz Prime Minister Thomas Kemmerich, reacted this week with growing confusion. “Constant ups and downs have nothing to do with free market pricing!” – he complained in the newspaper “Thüringer Allgemeine” and called for “greater fairness and transparency” at gas stations.
There has been a bubbleless faucet for a long time (as opposed to “bubble-free”), but Kemmerich wants to allow future fuel price increases only once a day, like in Austria, otherwise it will get confused, and still : It “definitely won’t” undermine competition. No, because the competition was overrated after the FDP came to power.
Just don’t get carried away!
If you now say: “What do I care about the price of gas, I only fill up for 50 euros”, you obviously studied in Germany. Instead of studying economics, we’d rather go to one and serve two Helles (special offer!) for the price of three. In this mood, we then hear politicians, who recently often dream about investing in the future. The Federal Ministry of the Interior even launched a whole future investment program, as did Deutsche Bahn. We used to think that investments always serve the future, but of course that was foolish on our part. You will probably still be allowed to put money in the past! For example, the railways, which over the last 20 years have invested in the route from Berlin to Dresden, in order to eventually (around 2030) provide the travel time that the steam locomotive already achieved in 1930.
If all this nonsense is getting on your nerves, don’t call the doctor! Our health insurance companies are once again on the brink of extinction. The situation is so serious that the first cashier warned about a tsunami, be careful. The man was probably so upset because he was threatened by the wave of self-promotional balls, pens, and seat cushions that health insurance companies use to invest our premiums in their futures so that we too could see the vast differences between them. But please don’t worry now! First, take one or two globules, they are available by prescription. Really effective medicines, on the contrary, only for self-payment.
A politician without self-confidence slows down
If the worst happens, it is best to resort to tried and tested home remedies, for example, chicken soup. But the next shock is already waiting. The Saxon chicken, once a mainstay of the regional food supply, is in danger of extinction. This, in turn, has a common connection with the Saxons, who – as has just been officially confirmed – are also getting smaller every year. Maybe because both, i.e. Saxon and Sachsenhuhn, live in symbiosis and lay an egg almost every day.
This brings us to the Left Party, a minority that also threatens itself and is gathering in Erfurt this weekend. There, unimpressed by his party, Bodo Ramelow claims leadership. He recently admitted to SPIEGEL that he wants to “change the Federal Republic.” And changes, as a politician knows without compromising self-confidence, begin not with cumbersome terms, but with clear words. Like this week, when Ramelov visited Belgium as the president of the Federal Council. However, when the events were summed up on his social media channels, the “rat” was lost, so that the world was informed about “Federal President Bodo Ramelov’s trip to Belgium”. Predictable progress says: if it’s online, it must be right.